So. Last night I dreamt I was pregnant. Now, I have had pregnancy dreams before that have always erupted into panic. For some reason in this particular dream, I wasn’t paniced or upset. I was in New York on an elevator with my Mom when I seemingly realized that I was going to have a baby. I was already 9 months pregnant. My Mom asked some obscene question about the babies head being turned down, at which point I felt my gigantic baby bump & realized it was. We got to a hospital (on the elevator still, somehow) and the first one turned us away for overcrowding. The second hospital we got to had a murder scene on the birth floor & we couldn’t go there. Finally, we got to a floor when I just got off & told the nurse (who was Carla from Scrubs, btw) that I couldn’t wait anymore, I was defitely having a baby. My mom was there still, then some other people showed up (Josh among them). I went through some of the standard (I’m guessing) pushing a baby out procedures & had this little gooey cute baby girl. Baffling as it was, she was dark skinned. She was cute with lots of baby hair. Then I remember thinking that she had joshs teeth. Strange, seeing as babies don’t have teeth. In the dream I couldn’t remember who the father was for some reason, but remember being happy Josh was there & that he seemed to be happy about this occurence.
Then I woke up.
Dreams are strange. What does it all mean? And no, it DOES NOT mean I want a baby. Not for some years, anyways…
I am sexually insatiable. I am not saying I am unsatisfied. I actually find it fairly easy to reach a point of satisfaction (if you will), with the right person. I truly feel like it would be impossible for me to have too much sex. I could literally just do it nearly all day, everyday. There isn’t really a minute during the day or night that I would turn down sex (with my boyfriend, of course). I can’t even think of anything I like to do more than have sex, eat something delicious, have sex again & go to sleep.
It’s something real & in front of me. I don’t wonder why I moved back to Utah from Denver. I don’t regret it or question it. Everytime I am sitting next to Josh & he smiles or laughs or sings or even sleeps, its abundantly clear to me just why I am where I am. Always is no longer a foreign concept to me. Always is what I want with him. Always is what I see when I look at him. It’s what I feel. I can’t miss Denver because when I think about having to miss him again, I can’t help but feel sick. I am so happy to be where I am, I am so lucky to have fallen into this place that makes too much sense. Everything is effortless.
Romantic getaway, no matter what. It’s the happiest place on Earth, so how can anyone consider this unromantic? Spending time with the one person you love most at the happiest place on Earth, just makes everything so much better. Yes, there’s kids…
Love you, Miss you, Disneyland. I hope I see you soon.
How I was working 65 hours a week for months. No breathers, no breaks, no sleep. Now, I can barely find the motivation to pull myself from my boyfriend’s bed to get to do mundane tasks like go to the bank, apply for jobs, etc. I’m not saying this is bad. I’m just saying, I’m reveling in not having a job. I’m completely content with being relatively stagnant until I start block classes. Now’s the time. Seize the day in which you don’t have to have a job. I’m going to live off student loans, you know: The American Dream.